I still can’t believe it’s already an year since I held you for the first time in my arms. Your tiny nose, pretty eyes and those tiny little feet. I remember I was thinking – I have never felt this before, wow she is precious, she is a part of me, she is MINE.
And here we are, all of a sudden you look more like a toddler than a baby. You are so close to walking but you have no teeth. Our house is brightened when you screen and you make my heart melt when you say “mumma” in your sweet voice. Seeing a dog makes you dance in joy, you love that swing and you love to fly.
All this might sound like a cliché as every child and mom must have experienced the same. But at the same time, this is special for me, because you are you and I am me and there is no other combination like us.
I accept I made many mistakes as a new mother in this one year. But You taught me that I needed to rock you to sleep.You taught me to trust you as you explored your world. You taught me how to let go of a messy house once in a while. You taught me that being present with you is far better than trying to juggle too much at time. You taught me to sail in the learning of new things—colors, animals, words, foods. With you, I can experience all of these things again for the first time. It was you who taught me how you to raise you better.
I do not know if I will be able to be what you want me to be, but I want to be your OCEAN. I want you to know that I will always be both front and behind you. The depth of my love for you will forever be immeasurable. All that I have in me for you: the love, the fear, the feeling of pride and insecurity is because, you have made me what I am.
I know you have learned to express your needs, you are all set to explore this world and I am sure you will make things happen your way in your own world. You will be fierce, independent and adventurous. But somewhere deep down in my heart I also wish that you stay small enough to curl into my arms before bed for just a little more longer, your tiny little fingers wrapped around mine when you walk, your arms around my neck everytime i carry you. Let’s just pause, here, now…for a little while, or forever.. on your birthday.
Wish you a very happy birthday! You are the little treasure god knew I needed.